Little Green Ghouls, Buddy!

My brother used to start a lot of his sentences with "when I grow up and I'm a butterfly". This was my favorite thing for a long time.

I’m not sure what my favorite thing is right now.
I’ll let you know.

"No, But I Roofied Your Drink": What's Your Return Policy on Tickets to the Gun Show? (Submission Post by BelleoftheBallz)

nobutiroofiedyourdrink:

One dark stormy night in NYC, a short, dark, and mildly attractive man approached me. He also was significantly older, which I had previously entertained the idea of, but never fulfilled. As a female in finance who is used to having borderline creepy crushes on my older male coworkers, this has…

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